Vivian: Wait! Don’t use that toaster.
Eric: Why? I want some toast for breakfast.
Vivian: It isn’t safe. I’ve just read about a research study that found people who use toasters have higher incidences of tumors.
Eric: That’s ridiculous. I’m having some toast with my coffee.
Vivian: You can’t use the coffee maker, either. The use of coffee makers is linked to heart disease.
Eric: Are you putting me on? Where are you getting this junk science?
Vivian: From very reputable sources.
Eric: I bet these so-called researchers are making sweeping conclusions and fraudulent claims based on limited or nonexistent data.
Eric: What now? I’m opening the refrigerator to get some milk.
Vivian: Refrigerators emit harmful rays that can be bad for your vision.
Eric: Wait a second. Are you having trouble sleeping again?
Vivian: As a matter of fact, I am. I haven’t slept in three days.
Eric: I don’t need any research study to tell me that people who don’t sleep think kooky thoughts!